Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The air taste purple.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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