shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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