She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
