4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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