My sheets look like a crime scene.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
