just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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