I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
