He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
