He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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