TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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