She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
