Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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