i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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