: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
