my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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