apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize