You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
