I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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