I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
