I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
His nipple licking is glorious
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