Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I AM VODKA MAN
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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