I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
