so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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