ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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