So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
