Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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