According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize