you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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