oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
