he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
