btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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