I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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