I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
