do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
