Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
