Need sex. Gaining weight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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