You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
