i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
