my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
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How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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