She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
