WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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