Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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