I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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