My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just forgot I was standing up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
