By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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