i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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