Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
