No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
