since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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