He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
