I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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