ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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