Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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