I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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