i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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