No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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