I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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